June is a bittersweet month for me as I approach what would have been my 5th wedding anniversary (June 11th).
I contemplated how I would turn this month into something special and God placed it on my heart to continue to share my story in ways that are healing to me. So, join me on a journey, the love journey...it's the story of how Paul and I met and life transpired until he took his last breath.
I am learning to own my story in order to heal my heart.
So...here goes EVERYTHING!
HERstory: Sunday, September 23, 2007 started as most Sundays do for me, 8 a.m. church service at Apostolic Faith Church. In addition, this particular Sunday was filled with breakfast with the Davis sisters (Aisha and Danielle), Metroboard 25th anniversary planning meeting and hanging out to watch the Bears with Sjar and Tiffany. The first half of the day, I was in a fairly good mood and happy to be spending time with my friends who as most people know are more like my siblings since I am an only child.
Unfortunately, between leaving the Davis sisters and getting to my afternoon meeting, a funk came over me that I could not shake. Once I finished business for the day, I wanted to head home to just sit on my couch and chill. So, I called Sjar and Tiffany and told them that I would catch them later and that I wasn't up for hanging out to watch the game. Neither of them were letting me off that easy and insisted that I join them at Jimmy Figs. They persuaded me that if I was feeling "blah" an evening hanging with my girls is just what I needed. I agreed verbally, but really wanted to go home and not be bothered with anyone. Instead, I headed downtown to meet them.
When I got to the place, to my surprise there were a couple of other people sitting with Sjar and Tiffany. Well, I really wasn't feeling that, so I became even more annoyed and sat sulking for much of the time I was there. I found myself annoyed by everything and everyone around me. I was quiet, yet extremely moody. I was not my usual talkative, smiling self. All I kept thinking is that I should have went home.
Disturbing me from my own thoughts was the sound of this guy being completely obnoxious (in my opinion). He was saying something to some girl about her tattoo. Really, dude? "Shut up!" was all I remember thinking. And, then I heard him say to his boy that my earrings looked like a necklace that his boy had bought back from Nigeria. By that time, I was extremely irritated and hoped that he was not saying that loud enough for me to intentionally hear. If so, he was in for a rude awakening. I was not in the mood. Now, that I really think about it, I cannot believe how unpleasant I was that evening, smh. My sincere apologies to Sjar and Tiffany.
I think the Bears were losing and I just could not take being there anymore so I told the ladies I was leaving. I got up to say my good-byes when the obnoxious guy from earlier says to me, "come sit over here, you and your girls ain't talkin bout nuthin." Now, anyone who knows me, knows that when a person says anything remotely challenging, I'm coming back with some snide, sarcastic remark. Well, I was a lil off my game, so all I could say was, "what you mean we ain't talkin bout nuthin, what you talkin bout." After that, I don't remember the exact exchange of words, they were many. The next thing I remember hearing..."you are really beautiful, I can see God on you." Now, tell me this dude didn't have game. LOL!
Low and behold, he must have had something to talk about as I sat there for at least an hour. Sjar had left and Tiffany was being entertained by another table while she waited for me. My words were few as Paul did most of the talking, apparently needing to get some things off his chest. He assured me he was not trying to come at me as he was preparing to move out of state. However, by the end of that hour or so, he asked me for my number. I gave it to him, not really thinking anything would develop. Tiffany and I left out and, of course, I filled her in on the conversation with the man who was about to move. While we were standing outside talking, Paul and his boy drove by and yelled to us to get home safely.
Before I actually got home, I received a text that read...Always remember your value, because precious stones cannot compare to you. You are a gift that will have no problem being recognized when you decide to shine. My initial thoughts were that's sweet and WOW! He must have learned a lot in that hour or so. Not long after I got home, Paul called me to make sure I made it safely. We talked on the phone that night for 3-4 hours. And, we've been talking ever since....
HIStory: I remember September 23, 2007 as if it were yesterday.
I had spent time with my daughter earlier in the day and I just wanted to be alone and reflect on my time with her. One of my boys had given me a call that wanted to hang out and watch the Bears game.
Everything in me wanted to say “I am cool,” but I ended up at Jimmy Figs anyway.
I am not really a drinker for those that have come to know me, but I had one or two beers and I remember this short chocolate sister walking through the door and she got my attention.
Now, I was thinking...baby got back (I also remember thinking she was beautiful). It was not her back, nor her beauty that had me in awe, it was her spirit...her presence, her aura.
There is a saying, “That a woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that it takes a man knowing God to see it.”
There is a presence that LaTrice has that is beautiful and that is what I continued to tell her on September 23, 2007...that she was so beautiful. It was like God was allowing me to see a treasure of great value when I was not even looking for it.
I remember telling LaTrice that our outward beauty will fade away, that is why it is important that I see your true beauty because it can be renewed every day…